To be in love is one thing, and then getting married to the person you love and starting a family together is another thing. Each one of these phases poses its own set of challenges. But, we all know that one of the most beautiful moments for a couple is when they get the news that they are soon-to-be parents. The very idea of bringing another soul into this vast world is the most surreal experience, not just for the mother, but even to the father. As the happy news takes over different aspects of a couple’s life, they change their lifestyle in keeping with the child to be born.
Right from making arrangements at home to understanding the financial requirements when another soul is added to the family — all of it is on the couple’s minds. Finally, when the due date arrives and the first baby is born, the new parents are nothing short of being on cloud nine, don’t you agree? With this newfound happiness comes the challenge of parenting as well. For the first-time parents, bringing up their first child is a confusing phase. The mother, particularly, would be surrounded by a plethora of advice pertaining to the do’s and don’ts when it comes to taking care of the child, right from breastfeeding to changing diapers or even putting him to sleep. The first child is like the apple of the parent’s eyes.
Just when they thought that they are they have crossed the biggest hurdles with their first child, you get the news of the second child. Are you happy about it or sad? We’re sure second-time parents-to-be have mixed feelings about the new arrival. It’s sort of like a universal truth that every parent knows when it comes to their second child, it’s not going to be so easy. Just when they thought that they had the world of parenting figured out to the T, the second child comes along and life gets thrown off balance again. From all the trouble-making to the tantrums, the second child is likely to be more of a handful than the first.
What Recent Study Claims
You can ask parents, who have two or more children, about their experiences bringing up the second child and most of them may have painted a colorful image about the level of challenges. Even a recent study has confirmed that the second child is more difficult to handle than the first one. This applies predominantly if the second child is a boy. So, yeah, the birth order of the child greatly influences the life and personality of the child (1). The study was carried by Joseph Doyle who studied and observed thousands of families of Denmark and Florida. Here’s a brief from the findings of this study. Dear parents, read on and see if it stands true with your second child.
Second-Borns (Especially The Boys) Get Into More Trouble
The study claims that it’s the second-born males who are known to have an unruly behavior while at school. They also have twenty to forty percent higher chances to get into trouble even with the court systems (2). They can get into so much trouble that it might even land them in prison for a while. We’re sorry if this scared you dear parents, but this is what the study says. So, if you find your second child on the way to becoming an instigator of everything in the family, then you might either want to brace yourself for the outcome when he enters teenage or you’d want to tone his behavior down a little bit.
Parental Attention Plays A Role In Making The Second-Born Unruly
You didn’t expect this, did you? But, it’s always the case that parents have to be blamed for any fault of their kids. Come what may! As parents, when the second child arrives into the family, it is a challenge to divide the care, love, and attention between your two kids. And, we believe that’s totally understandable. So, if you are feeling guilty right now, don’t be. Cut yourself some slack. The study says that paying little or poor attention to the second child can also be a cause for the mischievous behavior of the child.
The Role Model For The Second Child Matters
Who are the role models for the first child? It’s the parents, of course. And, who is the role model for the later-born? It’s his older sibling, a slightly irrational three or four-year-old! While the parents might be dedicating an equal amount of effort to both their kids, it’s the first child’s influence that can result in a misbehaving second child. After all, what do you expect your second child to become when he’s seeing his a few year’s old siblings as the role model?
So, what’s the bottom line here? There are a zillion parenting studies out there, which can give you the creeps. All that you as parents need to do is take all of this gyaan with a pinch of salt. But after having read all this, do pay attention to your second child’s behavior and correct them if you find anything fishy. Happy parenting, peeps!
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