Your partner and you exchanged rings a few days back. You both must be thinking that the tough times are over, now that you both are together. You are more than happy to bask in the newlywed glow for at least a reasonable duration of future which is foreseeable. But if you see through the reality lens, you’ll know that just because it’s the honeymoon phase, it doesn’t mean everything’s going to be smooth sailing.Everybody swears by to be a great spouse on D-day, but as the wedding cake turns stale and reality begins to kick in — you realize that marriage isn’t as easy as you thought it to be! Because with marriage comes the coming together of two different families, friendships, money and belongings, and pitfalls.
We asked few relationships experts to share with us the common fights that couples tend to face during their first year of marriage. We also asked them about ways with which one could navigate through contentious issues like these. And we’ve put together a ready read for you. Read on!
1. The “Why Aren’t We Having Our Moments?” Fight
While you were dating, you must have witnessed some really intense intimate moments with your partner. And this must’ve given you the confidence that after your marriage, maintaining the same would be a cakewalk. However, the truth stands that there are many couples who experience a dip in their personal moments with their partner at least during the first year of their marriage.
Experts say that this isn’t an uncommon thing. They say that partners do face issues and are unhappy. Now, the reason behind this could be plenty — you may be surrounded with relatives who don’t let you both have any personal space, the long duration of leaves you took for your marriage must’ve piled up truck loads of work for you.
But, yeah, it’s true that if there is an absence of intimate moments, the emotional and physical distance between the two of you can make you feel rejected (1).
The solution to this is, whenever you witness such falloffs, communication is the key. Talk it out with your partner, try to know what he is feeling. If not a vacation, go for a staycation and gift yourself an intimate vacay. Never collude in silence.
2. The “I’m Fed Up Of Cleaning Up For You” Fight
One of the major problems that a newlywed couple faces is to figure out a way to divvy up the household chores in a way that will work well for both of them. Handling laundry, cleaning up the kitchen and bathrooms, making dinner, cleaning the dishes — all these needed to be divided among the two equally. This, dear couples, is very essential for the health of your marriage (2).
If the share of these responsibilities falls on just one shoulder, it could lead to build up of resentment and frustration.
And honestly it’s not always the fault of men, there are a good number of women too who often forget to clean up after themselves and it’s their husbands who end up doing it.
The solution here would be to find a formula that works fine with both of you.
3. The “How Do We Manage Our Holidays?” Fight
Your holidays aren’t yours anymore, they become a shared one along with your partners. And there can be plenty of things you want to do with them. A solo travel, a couple vacation, you might also want to continue the long-standing tradition of visiting a temple during festival, but hey, ultimately, sacrifices of the same need to be made. Yours and your spouse’s family might pressurize you to go visit a temple which is 8 hours away on your holidays. But listen up, you both have created your own family by marrying, and what you both want needs to be above what your extended family wants. Of course, certain rituals cannot be avoided, that’s something you both can never let go off.
4. The “You Can’t Manage Money” Fight
Money has always been a very thorny object when it comes to couples, and with the newlyweds, it becomes an even more notorious subject. Whether it’s about thinking of expanding your family or buying a new home together, it’s going to be a messy conversation if you’re talking it out for the first time.
While you were dating or living together, you could’ve still managed to hide your finances. But after marriage being transparent about your finances is the best thing to do. Knowledge about both of your financial assets is what will help your partner and you manage all your expenditures well. And you will never have to fight or blame each other over managing expenses.
At the end of the day, honesty, transparency, loyalty, and having the ability to express feelings to each other is what you need to work on as a couple to keep misunderstandings and fights at bay. Which other fight do you think is very common among the newlyweds? Let us know in the comments section.